Wednesday, April 20, 2011

This week's scrubadubdub: Ash Crimson

So this week I decided to take a character from a game I actually know nothing about. Don't worry though, I did my research.

For those of you who think she's pretty hot, I got some news for you.

<--- This person right here is a man.

Yes faithful readers, this "man" is Ash Crimson from King of Fighters. He was the protagonist of the series starting with King of Fighters 2003. His part in the story is really more evil than anything else. SNK kind of wanted to go with an anti-hero really for the new protag.

Now I'm going to start of saying this. This mofo is one girly dude.They don't say it in all the stuff I read but I like to think he dresses like a girl to get others to go easy on him at first and the proceeds to trick them. You know who uses tricks like that? Fuckin' scrubs.

This girlyman's goal in the story is to steal these 3 powers from these 3 peoples to release some demon yada yada. Whatever no one really follows the KoF Story except scrubs. I just really don't like Ashley over here, dressin all women like, turning me on and then BAM! Penis.

I know it was a short one this week folks but I've been busy. I'll try to update more. Love ya always


Tuesday, April 5, 2011

First scrub of the week: Ken Masters

This folks is our first featured scrub: Ken Masters!!

Now when I made this blog I didn't do it just to mock characters and their fanbases. No no, that's too obvious and easy. Oh no, I want to call out the characters themselves. 

Ken Masters is one of the main characters from the Street Fighter fighting games made by Capcom, first released in 1987 in arcades. Ken is the rival of the series (for the most part) main character, Ryu. 

Ryu was an orphan found by a karate master named Gouken, that's about all you will need to know about Ryu's past. 

Ken Master's was a young american boy who was rather disrespectful a child. His father, who was a rich hotel tycoon happened to know Gouken and asked him if he could discipline his child and teach him to defend himself if he ever got into any trouble. Gouken gladly accepted and Ken was flown out to Japan to live and train with Gouken and his adopted son Ryu. Over the years Ryu and Ken became friends and had a very close rivalry.

Ken always been known to be rather cocky before, after, and even during fights. He was the young american who couldn't be stopped. He wandered the world trying to find people to fight so he could improve his art, but in the end did he really improve all that much? 

Some basics about the Shotokan fighting style. There are more than few characters in the Street Fighter universe use this fighting style. There are 3 main facets of this style, a Hadoken or "fireball", a Shoryuken which is essentially an uppercut that propels you into the air and a Tatsumaki, which is a kick that you spin off the ground and move forward, generally. Now most shoto characters in Street Fighter, they generally are a balance in all 3 of those attacks, but Ken has more of a mastery of the Shoryuken than his other two, leaving them not quite as powerful as other characters. This is one reason, in my opinion why Ken is a scrub, he doesn't even bother to learn his entire art.

Later on in the Street Fighter timeline, Ken marries a young american woman name Eliza. Together they conceive a child, and what does Ken do? Leave to go risk his life in another World Warrior tournament. Instead of staying home and taking care of his wife and soon-to-be-child, he fights people around the world for the sake of becoming a better fighter. Who does this? I'll tell you who, scrubs.

Lastly, as I said above, he's very cocky. He may have a friendly rivalry with Ryu, but he often thinks he is the better one, but he never really wins. He taunts his opponent and even fought Akuma (Gouken's evil brother) after he found Gouken in a coma (He assumed Gouken had died). Akuma defeated Ken in one blow and didn't even kill him since he didn't think that Ken was worth the effort. You want to know why? Because ken was a scrub.

So this is pretty much why Ken is a scrub. Don't like it? 

Deal w/ it.